So we find out that the imperial
Storm Troopers are all actually clones of Jango Fett
who is so badass he kills Jedis. Yet these same Storm
Troopers got their asses whupped by a bunch of furry
little fuzzballs (also known as Ewoks) using sticks
& stones a few years later. How does this make
any sense?
Now that we've learned that the Storm Troopers all
have speeded up aging coupled with the fact that the
battle with the Ewoks happens twenty or more years
after their prime, it follows that they were
effectively the equivalent of senior citizens and
retirees when they fought the Ewoks.
Thus the phenomenal ass kicking the Imperial Storm
Troopers faced at the hands of the Ewoks is thus
explained.
Some have argued that the storm troopers sounded
young in Episodes IV-VI when they spoke while others
have remarked that a fresh batch of clones could have
been cooked up after the Clone Wars. To this I reply
suspension of disbelief. :)
Below is a top ten list entitled Top 10 Things I
learned from Attack of the Clones that circulated
around MSFT this morning that was originally compiled
by Dan Charlson.
1. There are no police, or more importantly, traffic
cops or highway patrol officers, on Coruscant.
Endangering pedestrians and other vehicles is just
"no big deal."
2. Six-year old Jedi trainees are so capable with
their light sabres that you can group them very
tightly together -- even wearing "blast shield
helmets" -- and have them swing away at training
beacons without any concerns for safety.
3. Saruman can wield a mean light sabre -- although
thankfully, he hasn't forgotten how to use
telekinesis (but why didn't he do some more
body-slamming?!? Wait -whaddyou mean this is Star
Wars...?)
4. Just because you put a homing device on your
opponent's getaway vehicle does NOT mean you
shouldn't also follow him or her into a really
dangerous asteroid belt instead of just waiting for
him or her to come out the other side (you have a
tracking device, remember!) -- of course, on the
other hand, flying through asteroid belts at high
speed is required in the Star Wars universe. [Thanks
to JLyle for this one.]
5. The GSO -- Galactic Standards Organization (the
future counterpart to the ISO and W3.org) -- has been
so successful that not only have ALL major industrial
manufacturers adopted the same data access,
networking, and transfer protocols throughout the
Republic, but so have secret, guerilla arms factories
-- and besides, those same factories wouldn't use
security software or electronic countermeasures to
defend themselves against network intrusions
anyway.
6. Even though the Republic has scads of enormous,
elongated wedge-shaped Star Destroyers, you should
never put them into high orbit around a planet and
use them to prevent enemy starships from taking off,
let alone using them offensively as long-range
artillery weapons against enemy ground forces.
Pitting land force against land force is pretty much
the best way to go -- you can always make or get more
robot or clone soldiers...
7. C3PO is so well-designed that there are power
cells in every major constituent of his body --
including his head. [Thanks to JacobJ for this
one.]
8. You don't need to wear a helmet or even goggles
while you drive hovercraft, land speeders, or other
flying vehicles in a desert environment such as
Tatooine.
9. Little Boba Fett is so accustomed to seeing his
dad's face only behind his cool helmet that it just
wouldn't occur to him to lift the visor or remove the
helmet to look at his poor dead dad's decapitated
visage (try saying that three times fast!).
10. One's reputation, manner, and conduct just can't
be guessed by observation alone -- you need to have a
name which transparently broadcasts to all but the
stupidest that you're not a nice person: Darth
Sidious, Lord Tyranno, Count Dooku (?!?) -- not to
mention Darth Maul, etc....
11. Who's the biggest, baddest dude of the whole
Galaxy? He's short, he's green, he has thinning hair,
and nope -- he doesn't _really_ need that walking
stick after all...